


Lead Me to Myself

by secondstar



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Canon-Typical Behavior, Emotional Manipulation, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Teen Romance, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 19:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20981465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondstar/pseuds/secondstar
Summary: The school year after they defeated Pennywise, Eddie finds himself rethinking his feelings for Richie when his bike gets stolen and Richie offers to take Eddie to school. A courtship of sorts ensues, only Eddie doesn't realize it.





	Lead Me to Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Attn: Richie and Eddie are 14 in this fic. This fic features Eddie's emotional trauma from his mother, so take heed.
> 
> This is my first fic in over three years, but I can't stop thinking about Richie & Eddie. Find me on tumblr @ attoliancrown
> 
> beta'd by Beth, Val, and Zeynep

Eddie Kaspbrak may know that his mother gave him placebos for years but that doesn’t mean that he was now completely free of her influence over him. He was still only fourteen, for instance, and had little control over his life. In fact, one of the only things he felt like he could control was the pills that he counted as he dropped them down the drain every night. 

After he’d broken his arm the year before and stormed out of his mother’s house to go help his friends he had come home covered in black vomit and greywater, clutching at his soaked and ruined cast. Three things happened in quick succession that he will always remember. 

One: he was grounded from leaving the house until school started without phone privileges. He didn’t see his friends for weeks. He never wanted to feel that isolated ever again if he could help it.

Two: being forced to take three baths in a row and scrubbed down by his mother as a thirteen year old boy wasn’t something he’d like to relive anytime soon. It was humiliating, and the sheer joy that it brought to his mother to be able to “take care of her Eddie Bear” like he was five again was enough of an incentive to never step foot in greywater again. Or get barfed on, for that matter.

Three: his mother’s threats about spending a weekend in the ER getting a full body X-ray weren’t unfounded, and if you add in getting a new cast, Eddie surmised that soon he’d have all the Derry nurse’s names memorized. 

On a surface level, Eddie knew that he had been manipulated by his mother his entire life but knowing and stopping the vicious cycle of emotional trauma were two entirely different things. All it took was a single long, drawn out sigh from Sonia and Eddie came running to her side, goosebumps covering him because he didn’t know, this time, why she was upset with him. 

Because it was always his fault. 

“Eddie Bear, why do you make me worry every time you leave the house? Why don’t you stay in today,” seems reasonable when taken out of context. If you overlay the fact that he hadn’t left the house outside of school in weeks, her passive aggressive guilt trips are hard to explain to anyone who isn’t in the most suffocating house in Derry. 

It’s just the two of them, so he’s alone in his turmoil. 

After Sonia caught Richie sneaking in through his window one afternoon during his “life imprisonment” as Richie called it, Eddie was no longer allowed to be in his room with the door closed. The next step was surely for there to be no door at all. Eddie hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but when it came to his mother there was no telling what threats were real and which were fake. It was a special brand of torture, and what made it worse was that Sonia didn’t see what the big deal was about Eddie not having any privacy whatsoever.

Once school started, though, Eddie was freer. He got to school early just so he could spend more time with his friends. He followed them to the arcade after school most days but made sure that he was home in time for dinner. If he was even a minute late his social privileges were shot for the entire week. So, he’d set an alarm, two alarms, sometimes even three. As long as he left when his alarm went off, everything would be fine. 

It was a Wednesday afternoon and they were at the arcade. Bill and Richie were playing Street Fighter as Eddie looked on, standing to Richie’s side. 

“You’re going down,” Bill said, grinning. Any time Bill smiled Eddie felt a little more of their summer chip away, the horrors subsiding with each allowance that they were moving on, moving forward. It made him feel a little bit lighter, too. 

“You fucking wish,” Richie said, his arm digging into Eddie’s side as he tried to get Eddie’s attention. “You think I’m gonna win, don’t you Eds?” Eddie reached out, grabbing onto Richie’s elbow to stop him from ramming his side. 

“Stop,” Eddie said, sneering a little as he rolled his eyes. He didn’t move his hand as it clutched at Richie’s shirtsleeve. “I’m not picking sides-- and don’t call me Eds.” 

Richie rolled his eyes, licked his lips, then KO’d Bill. Richie grinned, looking at Eddie for approval as he raised his hand for a high five. 

“You already know you’re the best, Rich,” Eddie said, shaking his arm a little before letting him go and ignoring the hand in the air. Richie paid him no mind as he dropped his hand then draped one arm around Eddie’s shoulder and the other around Bill’s. 

“How about: loser buys the winner ice cream,” Richie said, pulling his best friends closer to him. Eddie stumbled forward, grabbing onto Richie’s side as he led them towards the door. He managed to look at his watch, his face falling as he realized his alarm was about to go off. 

He shrugged Richie’s arm off his shoulder, walking out ahead of them. 

“I can’t stay,” Eddie said as his watch beeped at him. He turned to look back at Bill and Richie. “I have to get home. “ Richie looked up at the sky, his face scrunched up. 

“It’s still light out, you’ve got plenty of time,” he said as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Eddie sighed, pursing his lips. He didn’t have time to fight with Richie about staying out with them, not when Richie knew the consequences. 

“It’s not worth it,” Eddie said, feeling bad when Richie’s shoulders slumped. “You know I can’t stay out, I need to get home so I can see you guys after school tomorrow,” Eddie said as fast as he could as he looked around for his bike. His bike that was no longer next to Richie and Bill’s. “Oh, no.” Eddie said. “No. This can’t be happening.” 

He panicked, looking to Richie before saying “fuck” three times in a row as Richie ran forward, looking for Eddie’s bike amongst the line of them outside of the arcade. 

“My mom is going to fucking kill me,” Eddie said, beginning to hyperventilate. His hand instinctively reached for his fanny pack where he kept his inhaler but both were no longer there. He didn’t actually have asthma, he didn’t need them, but he wanted the comfort all the same. Eddie clenched his fist as panic gripped him. Bill was by his side in moments, laying a hand on him for comfort, but Eddie barely felt it. 

“Mrs. K won’t kill you, because if she killed you then she couldn’t keep you prisoner,” Richie stated, like that would help Eddie in any way. 

“Shut the fuck up, Richie,” Eddie said, his voice rising another octave as Bill began searching the bikes in ernest. Richie shrugged as he got onto his own bike. 

“Come on, then,” Richie said, jerking his head to the side. “I’ll get you home in time.” Eddie hesitated, looking around one more time for a bike that was no longer there. 

“Fuck,” Eddie said under his breath one more time before getting on Richie’s bike. Eddie sat in the seat, holding onto Richie as he began pedaling, standing as he went. 

“See you tomorrow Bill!” Richie called out as they made their way towards Eddie’s house. Eddie held onto Richie, one hand on the back of the bike seat and the other holding onto the back of Richie’s shirt as he pedaled as fast as he could. 

“I’m so screwed, she’s going to kill me. Do you know how dangerous this is? I should have a helmet on or something, what if you have to stop quickly? You’re going to crash us. What if I break my arm again? I’ll never get to hang out with you guys ever again. I can’t stay inside that long again Richie, I can’t do it.” 

Eddie had worked himself up and it was like he couldn’t stop the words from coming out. He held onto Richie’s shirt, concentrating on the movement of Richie’s body as he pedaled uphill, panting as he went. Eddie didn’t allow himself to think about how Richie didn’t even hesitate before grabbing his own bike and offering to take Eddie home so he wouldn’t be late. 

“You have no idea what it’s like,” Eddie said, his face turned away from Richie, his voice quiet. 

“I know,” Richie said, sounding out of breath. “I’ll get you there, Eds.” 

Eddie believed him. 

Eddie’s street came into view as his last warning alarm began to go off. At the sound of it Richie pushed himself even harder, trying to get Eddie home before his curfew. He began to slow down as Eddie’s house came into view. To Eddie’s relief, his mother wasn’t outside waiting for him, yet. 

As Richie put his feet on the ground at the edge of Eddie’s driveway, Eddie wrapped both of his arms around Richie’s middle, squeezing him tight before clambering off the bike. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Eddie called over his shoulder as he ran towards his house, leaving Richie panting at the end of the drive. Eddie waved at Richie, relief plain across his face. Richie smiled, waving back as the front door opened. Richie wiped at his sweaty brow, squinting towards the open door where Eddie’s mother loomed over him. 

“Hi, Mommy,” Eddie said, his voice cracking slightly as his hand dropped to his side. Sonia didn’t fail to notice Richie, her eyebrow lifting as she reached her hand out for him, leading Eddie inside. “Richie was just--”

She shut the door, her hand on his back as she lead him towards the kitchen. 

“You’re late,” she stated, pointing at the kitchen table where their dinner was laid out: TV dinners, again. 

“No, my alarm just went--”

“Do not talk back to me,” she said, cutting Eddie off. Eddie bit his lip, his eyes wide. “You had me worried,” she tisked. “Why was he following you home? He doesn’t live over here.” Eddie knew his mother disapproved of Richie, that she liked Bill more, but she couldn’t dictate who he liked. 

Eddie didn’t know how to tell her his bike had been stolen. Instead, he picked at his dinner. When she complained she wasn’t ever looking for a response, she only wanted to continue telling Eddie of all the dangers there were outside. 

They ate in silence, like they always did. She hadn’t even asked about his day. Sonia didn’t want to talk to Eddie, she just wanted him by her side. 

He did his homework in the living room where she watched TV. He was used to tuning the TV out as he worked, laying on the floor on his stomach as he did his math worksheet. When he finished he picked up his things, kissed his mother on the cheek, then headed to take a shower, the only time he was truly alone behind a closed door when he was at home. 

In the bathroom, he was truly and absolutely alone. There was no Sonia, no hovering, no nagging, no guilt. Eddie loved to shower, not only because he was a germaphobe, but because he had time to breathe. He tried not to think about his bike, but that was difficult when all he could think about was Richie riding his bike, Eddie on the back, grasping at him as he tried not to fall off. 

Eddie closed his eyes as the water cascaded down his face. He stood there, unmoving in the shower as he thought about what it would have been like for him to get ice cream with them before dinner, of Richie’s arm around him, of Bill’s smile. 

Eddie wanted--

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted Eddie, scaring him as his eyes opened wide. 

“Eddie Bear, don’t you think you’ve been in there long enough? What are you doing?” Sonia asked from the other side of the door. Eddie heard the jiggle of the door knob, she’d checked to see if he’d locked the door. 

“I’m almost done,” Eddie said, turning the water off. 

“Well hurry up, you don’t want to miss Roseanne, do you?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes as he toweled himself off, then put his watch back on. 

“No, Mommy, I don’t. Be out soon,” he said, quickly running a comb through his hair. When he opened the door, his towel wrapped around his waist, he was relieved that his mother was no longer in the hallway. He went into his room, shutting the door except for a crack, as far as he was allowed to. Eddie always changed in the closet, for privacy. He put his pj’s on then came back into the living room where he was expected to sit near his mother. He curled up on the couch, hugging his legs to his chest as he zoned out, barely paying attention as Roseanne yelled at her kids. 

His mind wandered as he rested his chin on his knee. As long as he kept his eyes on the TV, it would be okay. He needed to figure out how he was going to get to school in the morning, but if he started to think about his bike being gone, he was going to cry. His bike was his freedom; it allowed him to go to school on his own, to see his friends. Without it he’d be trapped.

Eddie sucked in a shaky breath. He didn’t want Sonia to pick up on his distress. She was tuned to every sound Eddie made, every facial expression. Eddie tried to channel Stan and his deadpan face, hiding all emotion behind a mask. 

During a commercial break, the phone rang. Eddie got up from the couch, rushing into the kitchen in order to answer it. 

“Hello?” Eddie asked. 

“Hey, Eds.” Eddie smiled as Richie’s voice came over the speaker. Relief flooded through him as he grasped the phone tighter, his finger wrapping around the phone chord. 

“Hey,” Eddie whispered, glancing down the hallway to see if Sonia had gotten up. Hopefully the show was back on and she was too engrossed to notice that Eddie hadn’t come back. 

“Bill and I went back to try and find your bike, but it’s gone.” Eddie’s stomach sank as he sat at the table by the phone. “I’m sorry.” 

“Thanks for looking,” Eddie said softly. “I-- I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, Eds. I got this.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, confused, ignoring the flip his stomach did at Richie’s joke endearment.

“I’ll meet you at the end of your street in the morning, I can take you to and from school.” 

“Richie--” Eddie began to say when Sonia appeared in the hallway. 

“It’s after nine, Eddie Bear,” Sonia said. “Give me the phone.” She’d reached her hand out, but Eddie hesitated, not wanting to. Sonia’s look had him handing it over before Eddie could think. 

“Richard Tozier,” Sonia said into the phone. Eddie winced, shrinking in on himself at her tone. “You know not to call here after 8:30.” 

Eddie could barely hear Richie’s comeback but by the way Sonia’s eyes bulged he knew it had been a zinger. Sonia hung up the phone letting out an audible sigh. 

“I don’t like you hanging out with him, sweetie.” Eddie didn’t look at her. “He’s a bad influence on you. He broke your arm.”

“He didn’t break my arm, he saved me,” Eddie said, looking up at her. “He helped me.” 

“You wouldn’t have been in that situation if not for him. Who knows what kind of infection you could have gotten in that house. The dust and mold alone!” 

“I’m tired,” Eddie said, standing up. “I think I’ll go to bed now.” He walked forwards, kissing her on the cheek before making his way towards his room. 

“Don’t forget to take your medicine.”

Eddie made a pit stop in the bathroom where he turned on the tap water, grabbing a little paper cup and filling it with water. He shook his pill box for good measure, peeking his head out of the bathroom to see if his mom was hovering nearby or not. She wasn’t yet, so he dropped it down the drain before turning the water off. He drank the water from his cup then crushed it in his hand before tossing it into the trash. 

It was a small thing, dumping his fake medication, but it made him feel a little bit more control over his life. Eddie glanced in the mirror and frowned at his small, thin frame before rolling his eyes then turning off the light. 

He crawled into his bed, his light already off, burrowing under his covers. The light from the hallway couldn’t be seen beneath his blankets so it was easier to pretend he was alone and his mother wasn’t hovering, checking to make sure Richie didn’t appear out of nowhere. She always did it. Making sure Richie wasn’t there or that he was actually in bed. 

He relaxed when he heard her footsteps head back towards the living room. It wasn’t much, but it was something. A small reprieve; the rest of the night to himself. It was only a little after nine and he wasn’t tired but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because Richie would be there tomorrow morning and everything would be alright.

\---

Eddie kissed his mother goodbye just like every other normal day he left for school. She didn’t suspect a thing as he walked out the door and started heading towards the end of the street. As soon as his house was out of view he ran towards the stop sign he knew Richie would be waiting for him at. 

Just like he promised Richie was there, leaning on his bike, his feet on the ground and backpack hooked into his handlebars instead of on his back. 

“Hey,” Eddie said, catching his breath. 

“You didn’t need to run,” Richie said, scoffing lightly at him. “I would’ve waited.”

“I didn’t want to make us late,” Eddie said, climbing onto the bike and taking his spot on the seat. 

Richie started off without a word, his body lifting as he stood, pedaling. Eddie held on, his legs dangling. They’d been riding for a few minutes before Richie slowed down, then stopped. He was panting but didn’t seem overly tired. 

“Can you try sitting on the handle bars?” Richie asked. “I want to sit.” Eddie nodded his head, climbing down as Richie untangled his backpack from the handlebars. “Give me your backpack.”

Eddie handed it over, confused as he watched Richie lengthen the straps of his own bag, then connecting them together with the side release clips. Richie put both bookbags on, then grinned at Eddie for approval. 

“How’d you think of that?” Eddie asked as Richie helped him jump up onto the handlebars, his ass already feeling uncomfortable. Richie shrugged as they took off once more. 

“I’m brilliant,” Richie said, making Eddie grin as he rolled his eyes. Eddie held onto the handlebars as they sped down the streets. 

Once they got to school they found their friends. Richie didn’t leave his side after they unhooked their backpacks, even when the first bell rang. They didn’t have first period together and as Eddie turned to head to Science, Richie stopped him by grabbing onto his wrist. 

“What?” Eddie asked as Richie let go of him. He took a step towards Richie without thinking about it. They had about two minutes before the second bell rang. 

“What about after school I walk you home?” Eddie’s brow furrowed. If Richie didn’t want to take Eddie on his bike, he didn’t have to. 

“If you can’t take me, I can just walk home,” Eddie said, even though it was pretty far. That, and he’d wanted to spend that time with his best friend. “It isn’t a big deal.” Even though it kind of was. Ever since the summer he didn’t like walking anywhere alone. He shuddered thinking about his leper vision.

“No, I’ll go with you, I just--” Richie sighed, shaking his head. “I thought that we could walk instead of going to the arcade.” 

“Who are you and what have you done with Richie?” Eddie joked, shoving Richie a little bit as the second bell rang. He left Richie in the middle of the hallway and walked as quickly as he could to his next class before being tardy.

Eddie needed a solution to his stolen bike dilemma. 

He’d offer to mow his neighbors’ lawns but his mother wouldn’t let him operate a lawn mower and thought that he was allergic to grass. That, and she’d automatically be suspicious. He’d maybe last another day before she found out and grounded him. 

She loved grounding him because that meant he’d be home with her instead of being out in the world where it was dangerous. Eddie defeated a fucking clown while he had a broken arm and mowing the lawn was too dangerous for him. What a fucking laugh. 

Lunch went by in a blur, the losers all squished into a single lunch table and sharing their food as Richie tried to be as loud and as obnoxious as possible. Eddie knew he did it on purpose, that he was trying to keep Eddie’s mind off the fact that a new term of “life imprisonment” was on the horizon and that there was little they could do to stop it.

But Richie was going to try and stop it. 

He and Richie didn’t have any afternoon classes together so Eddie waited by the front door to the school. Normally he’d wait by their bikes but during the final class of the day Eddie watched as dark clouds rolled in. It hadn’t started raining yet, but there was no way he’d make it home before it would start to rain. 

Richie appeared, jumping in front of Eddie and scaring him, his hands resting on Eddie’s shoulders as he grinned.

“Ready to go, Eds?” Richie asked, leading Eddie outside and ignoring the clouds. 

“I don’t think we should-- my mom always wants me to wait at school for her if it’s raining so she can come pick me up, we’ll get caught.” 

“It’s not raining yet,” Richie said, holding his hand out and making a face at Eddie. Eddie pushed Richie’s other hand off of him. “Your mom needs to chill, a little rain won’t hurt you.”

“Easy for you to say. It’s cool out today, so the rain will be even colder. Do you know how long it takes for rain to soak through clothes? If it pours then our shoes will get water logged and then we won’t be able to wear them for like, a week. We could get pneumonia, or a cold. If it was colder out we could get hypothermia. People lose fingers and toes to hypothermia. I don’t want to lose my fingers, Richie. My mom would fucking flip!” 

Eddie followed Richie as he rambled about the dangers of walking home in the rain as Richie grabbed his bike from the bike rack and began walking it down the street. 

Thunder rumbled overhead about five minutes into their journey. Richie looked up at the sky, blinking. 

“How about we go to my house? It’s closer.” 

Eddie stood closer to Richie as lightning appeared overhead, with thunder following it seconds later. Both of them jumped at the sound. 

“Yeah, okay. That’s safest.” 

They hopped onto Richie’s bike, speeding down the road as fat drops of rain began to fall. By the time they got to the Tozier’s house they were soaked through. Eddie was more worried about his books and work than he was about his clothes. Richie’s parents weren’t home yet, so they had the house to themselves. Richie slipped on the hardwood floor as he tried taking his shoes off, making them both laugh as Eddie had to help Richie get back on his feet.

Richie’s room was a mess, with dirty clothes strewn everywhere. Richie kicked some of it out of the way as he dug through drawers in order to find them clothes to change into. Eddie began peeling his clothes off, his teeth chattering as Richie set a clean shirt, sweatshirt, pants, socks, and even briefs on his bed for Eddie. 

After they changed clothes, they both brought their wet clothes to the washing machine. 

“I’ve never run this before,” Richie said, looking at Eddie like maybe he knew how. 

“How fucking hard could it be?” Eddie said, stepping forward. The knobs were confusing, and there weren’t directions for the box of laundry soap, so they decided to wait for Richie’s mom to get home. “Shit, I need to call my mom.” 

In the kitchen, Richie started to compile snacks for them as Eddie called his mom. 

“Where are you?” Sonia asked as soon as she picked up. 

“I’m at Richie’s,” Eddie said, twirling his finger in the phone chord as he watched Richie make a sandwich with potato chips inside it. “It started to rain, and his house was closer.” 

“You know you’re supposed to wait for me at school, Eddie Bear. I drove all the way there, and you were nowhere to be found! How do you think that made me feel? I thought you’d been kidnapped!” 

“I’m sorry Mommy,” Eddie said, taking a deep breath as he looked at the ceiling. “We were already on our way when it started to rain. I thought I could make it home before the rain started.”

“Gather your things, I’ll be there soon to pick you up. We don’t know what allergens they have there, don’t they have a cat? Are your eyes itching?”

“I’m fine,” Eddie said. “We’ve already started our homework, everything’s all spread out. Can I call you when we finish?” Richie mimed taking huge bites out of his sandwich at Eddie then pointed at him. “And Mrs. T invited me to stay for dinner.” 

Sonia sounded skeptical, but she gave in. 

“I’ll come by at 7:30 to get you, don’t eat anything with peanuts.” 

“I won’t,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t even allergic to peanuts. “Bye, Mommy.” 

He hung up the phone, grinning. 

“Come get a load of this sandwich I made,” Richie said with his mouth full. The sandwich looked absolutely disgusting, but Eddie took a bite when Richie offered it to him. “The chips make it.” 

“Sure,” Eddie said as he began concocting his own snack. “My mom is coming at 7:30, and I told her we were doing our homework.” 

“That’s too bad, because we’re definitely playing Tetris.” 

Eddie ended up doing his homework as Richie played Tetris. It was the same as when he did his homework while his mom watched TV but better because this had Richie’s endless stream of nonsensical chatter and no guilt hanging in the air. Eddie sat on Richie’s bed as Richie told him about his and Ben’s English project that they were paired up for. 

Eventually Richie tossed his controller then flopped down onto the bed next to Eddie, sighing. 

“Aren’t you done yet?” Richie asked, poking Eddie with his foot. 

“No, stop,” Eddie said, kicking him a little bit. “If I don’t finish this before my mom gets here, I’m screwed.”

“But you’re here to hang out, and we aren’t even hanging out,” Richie grumbled as he sat up, picking idly at his bedding as he fake pouted. Eddie sighed, closing his book. 

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly, making Richie laugh. “What are we going to do then, Einstein?” 

“Seven minutes in heaven,” Richie said, smirking at him. Eddie hit him with his own pillow, which started a pillow fight. Eddie may be smaller than Richie, who recently had a growth spurt so now he towered over Eddie, but Eddie was squirrely and fast, and he had a pillow as a shield. 

“Don’t you fucking--” 

Eddie got hit with Richie’s other pillow, sending him back onto the bed as he screamed, then started laughing. Richie fell upon him, his hands at Eddie’s sides, pillow forgotten. Eddie’s heart raced as he squirmed, but that only made Richie want to tickle him. 

“Richie--”

Eddie pushed at Richie’s hands in an attempt to stop him, he was having a hard time breathing in from the amount of laughing. His shirt had ridden up, his skin on fire as Richie’s fingers danced across him. 

“You make the best faces,” Richie said as he slowed down after noticing Eddie’s stilted breathing. The good thing about Richie was he knew when to stop. Eddie no longer had an inhaler, and both of them didn’t want the afternoon to be ruined because Eddie had a faux asthma attack because his mother conditioned him into thinking he had asthma. “And your skin gets blotchy,” Richie said as a finger traced across Eddie’s face. 

Eddie let him for a minute, watching Richie’s gaze fall to Eddie’s lips. His heart gave a little lurch, his mind shouting “too close, he’s too close” at him. Eddie’s eyes narrowed for a split second before he turned his head and snapped his teeth at Richie’s finger. 

Richie pulled back, his eyes widening. He was still on top of Eddie, their limbs tangled, but neither of them moved. They just laid there, chests rising and falling. 

The front door opening then shutting surprised both of them. Eddie made to sit up, but Richie was still on him. When Richie’s mom appeared in the doorway, her eyebrows shot up. Richie grabbed his pillow and thwacked Eddie, hard, sending him back down onto the bed. 

“Mom! Eddie’s here, his bike is missing and it was raining so I thought: Hey! Help your good pal Eds out. We were soaked, so we changed clothes but we don’t know how to start the washer so his stuff is still wet. Mrs. K called and wanted to take him away but we said you invited Eddie to stay for dinner, so can he stay?” 

Richie seemingly didn’t even take a breath as he rattled off his elongated question. His mother, of course, was used to Richie’s mouth and everything that poured out of it. Eddie sat up once more and fixed his shirt as he looked on, anxious to see if she’d call his mom to come get him now. 

“One thing at a time, Rich,” his mother said. Eddie held his breath. “Eddie, what happened to your bike?” 

“It was stolen outside the arcade yesterday,” he admitted. Mrs. T nodded her head, accepting the answer. Unlike how Eddie’s mom would have reacted to such news. 

“I’m glad Richie thought to give you dry clothes. I’ll get that laundry started then we’ll call for take out. Richie, follow me. It’s time you learned how to use the washer.” Richie groaned but followed his mom out of his room, winking at Eddie before he rounded the corner and giving him a thumbs up.

\---

Mrs. Tozier ended up ordering Chinese which Eddie had only a few times in his entire life. Turned out, Eddie loved chicken fried rice. Richie ate something spicy with a military sounding name but Eddie didn’t like it much. 

“You eat a lot of bland food, you know that?” Richie said as he failed at using his chopsticks correctly. He began picking each sticky piece of chicken up with his fingers. Eddie watched in horror as Richie stuck his fingers in his mouth, licking the sauce off his fingers before reaching into the communal pile of condiment packages for duck sauce. 

“You’re disgusting,” Eddie stated. Richie looked over at him, confused. 

“Your mom’s disgusting,” Richie said as he opened the packet of duck sauce with his teeth, then squeezed it out over his egg roll. Richie ended up with more sauce on his lips than in his mouth. Eddie made a face at him. 

“Richie, don’t talk with your mouth full,” his mom said, apparently tuning what her son was actually saying out. A loud buzzer went off making Eddie jump. His eyes darted to the clock but it wasn’t 7:30 yet. “That’s the washer finishing up, I’ll move the clothes over so they’ll be dry before you have to leave.” 

Eddie sat, staring at the hallway Mrs. T went down. Without speaking Richie held up a steamed dumpling in Eddie’s face, his eyebrows raised. 

“What?” Eddie asked, dodging the dumpling as Richie tried to airplane it in his mouth like he was a three year old. “You’re disgusting, do you know how many germs you have in your mouth? Where those chopsticks were?”

“Eat the dumpling, Eds,” Richie said. “You’ve never had one, right?” Eddie hesitated, then sighed. He opened his mouth, letting Richie feed him the dumpling. 

As Eddie chewed, enjoying the dumpling, Richie watched him. Eddie didn’t want to talk with his mouth full so he gave Richie two thumbs up. Richie grinned. 

“Your phobia of mouth germs is going to get in the way of making out,” Richie said nonchalantly. Eddie’s mouth dropped open. “It’s boring if you don’t swap mouth germs.” 

“I hate you,” Eddie said, turning red. He hated when he blushed at something Richie said but Richie’s favorite past time was making Eddie uncomfortable. At least, that’s what he assumed it was. 

“Your mom doesn’t,” Richie said before he shoved a dumpling into his mouth. Eddie pursed his lips, his grip on his fork tightening as he thought about his missing bike and his impending permanent grounding. Richie must have realized that Eddie wasn’t in the mood because he frowned then held out the last dumpling for Eddie. “I wouldn’t give your mom the last dumpling, only you.” Eddie rolled his eyes. He reached out his hand for it but Richie yanked it away. “You’d deny me?” Richie asked, aghast. 

“You can’t be serious,” Eddie sighed. Richie feigned eating the final dumpling. “Okay, okay. Richie,” Eddie pleaded. He really liked the dumpling and wanted another. Richie raised his eyebrows, waiting for Eddie to open his mouth. When Eddie did, Richie gave it to him. Their eyes caught for a moment before Richie looked away, clearing his throat and adjusting his glasses. 

“Are you two done messing around?” Mrs. T asked, giving them a knowing smile. Eddie covered his mouth with his hands, the dumpling barely fitting into his mouth. 

“We were reenacting that scene in Lady and the Tramp,” Richie said, wiggling his eyebrows at his mom. “Only there’s no spaghetti.” 

“And you’re not dogs,” Mrs. T pointed out, not missing a beat. Eddie pushed the rest of his food around on his plate, unable to look up at either of them. “So, Eddie,” Mrs. T said, getting Eddie’s attention. His eyes glanced up from his food. He wasn’t sure why he felt ashamed, only that he did. “What’s this about your bike missing?” 

“We were at the arcade and some asshole stole his bike,” Richie said before Eddie could even form the words. Mrs. T didn’t even blink at Richie’s cursing. 

“I asked Eddie,” she said to her son. Richie was unperturbed as he shoveled another mouthful of food into his germ infested mouth that Eddie hated. He hated every single thing about Richie. It was a lie, of course, but he chanted it in his mind over and over anyways, as he tried to lie to himself. 

“He’s right, Mrs. T,” Eddie said. “I’m-- I don’t want to tell my mom,” Eddie admitted. “I’ll be grounded.” 

“Yeah, and I don’t want to be barred from seeing his cute little face,” Richie said, reaching forward to pinch Eddie’s cheek. Eddie thwacked his hand away before he got too close. No, he definitely hated Richie. 

“Well, you know, Went has an old bike he never uses.” Richie sat up straighter. “When he comes home later, you should ask him about it.” 

Richie grinned, obviously pleased by this turn of events. 

“Thank you, Mrs. T.” 

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” she said. When she said the word sweetie it sounded nothing like how his mother said it, and for that he was grateful. “Now, why don’t you two go put Wheel of Fortune on while you wait for Mrs. Kaspbrak to get here.” Richie made a face, not wanting to watch Wheel of Fortune, but he stood anyways, grabbing Eddie’s hand and pulling him towards the living room. He caught Richie looking down at their hands, like he was amazed they were still clasped together. For once, Eddie didn’t pull his hand away.

They both flopped down on the couch, their hands releasing and legs going opposite directions. Eddie’s socked feet were by Richie’s chest so he poked him with one of them. Richie, whose eyes had been on the TV, turned his head to watch Eddie continue poking him. In retaliation, Richie began trying to shove his own socked foot up Eddie’s shirt. 

Eddie laughed, squirming then trying to do the same to Richie, but Richie grabbed ahold of Eddie’s leg. His hand wrapped around his ankle and lifted it into the air. Richie sat up from his reclining position, his hand curved into the prime position for tickling, and hovered over Eddie’s bare stomach. 

“Beg,” Richie smirked. 

“No,” Eddie laughed. “Never!”

“Beg!” Richie said as he started to tickle Eddie. Eddie thrashed around on the couch, reaching behind him where a pillow laid within reach. He hit Richie on the side of the head, knocking him into the couch. 

“Beep, beep,” Eddie said, trying to catch his breath. Richie immediately let him go, dropping Eddie’s leg unceremoniously, then retracted his foot from where it had been up Eddie’s shirt. Eddie’s own foot, though, remained where it had fallen, tucked between Richie’s chest and arm. Richie’s hand now lay resting on Eddie’s knee and he wanted to stay like this forever. He let out a contented sigh, smiling to himself as he turned his attention back to the TV. 

It didn’t take long for 7:30 to sneak up on them. When a car pulled into the driveway Eddie didn’t think anything of it since Mr. T was due home at any moment. When the doorbell rang he bolted up off the couch, disentangling himself from a dozing Richie. 

“Jumpy, much?” Richie said, rubbing at his eye beneath his glasses. Eddie’s eyes were wide, hands clenched as he watched Mrs. T answer the door. In all honesty, Eddie was surprised his mom didn’t honk her horn when she got to the Tozier’s and expecting him to run out to meet her. 

“Sonia, so good to see you,” Maggie Tozier said as Sonia walked inside, her eyes searching for Eddie. As soon as she saw him, standing awkwardly in front of the couch, swimming in clothes that weren’t his own, she made a beeline towards him, her arms wrapping around him. 

“Eddie Bear, I was so worried,” She said as she checked him over, her hands on his face. 

“Everything’s fine,” Maggie waved off Sonia’s concerns like she wouldn’t rather Eddie be in a hazmat suit instead of ‘Richard Tozier’s clothes that probably haven’t been washed in who knows how long.’ Eddie could already hear her diatribe she’d wreak on him in the car. “He’s eaten, done his homework, and his clothes are in the dryer.” 

Sonia let go of Eddie’s face, giving him a second to look back at Richie before his mother grabbed his hand, leading him towards the door. 

“Thank you, Maggie,” Sonia managed as they stopped by the door, both of Sonia’s hands resting on Eddie’s shoulders. “For taking care of my son.” 

“He’s welcome here any time,” Maggie said, genuinely. Eddie gave her a smile. “His shoes are probably still wet, though--”

Eddie looked up at his mom, where he could see an internal war happening across her face. Do they leave now with no shoes for Eddie? Does she ask Maggie if Eddie could wear a pair of Richard “Trashmouth” Tozier’s dirty shoes? Does she wait for his shoes to dry? Eddie had no idea which she would choose. Sonia looked down at Eddie’s socked feet. 

“Eddie can make do with his wet ones until we get home.” Eddie made a face. He didn’t want to put his dry feet into soaking wet sneakers. 

“I can just walk to the car,” Eddie stated. 

“No you can’t, sweetie,” his mother reprimanded him. “What if you step on a nail? You’ll get tetanus.” Eddie was pretty sure he wouldn’t get tetanus, since he had his shot for it, but he could get a splinter, which could get infected. 

Maybe wearing the shoes would be best. 

“I’ll go get them!” Richie said, running from the room. “Come on, Eds!” Richie, Eddie’s savior and knight in not-so-shiny armor, grabbed his hand and yanked him away from his mother. Together they slid down the hallway on their socks. 

“Eddie, be careful! You could break your arm again!” 

Eddie didn’t care, though, at least not in that moment as they slid down the hallway hand in hand. It was short lived but Eddie’s heart beat quickly as Richie let go of his hand. 

“Here,” Richie said, handing Eddie his bookbag, along with a stack of comics that Eddie hadn’t asked for but he wouldn’t turn down. “Hide those so the warden doesn’t see.” Eddie put them in his bag. Richie watched him, nodding his head as Eddie zipped his bookbag up. “Contraband, sort of like porn.” 

“You-- you didn’t just give me porn, did you?” Eddie asked, wide eyed. 

“Pfft, no, that stays with me,” Richie said, nudging Eddie in the side as he walked out of his room. “Your shoes are over here.” Eddie looked down the hallway, where he could hear his mother talking with Mrs. T. “Eds.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie murmured, mostly to himself. Richie handed him his shoes then took a step back from him. 

“See you tomorrow?” Eddie asked, suddenly a little apprehensive. 

“Uh, duh,” Richie said, punching his arm. 

“Ow,” Eddie said, even though it didn’t hurt. 

\---

That night, Eddie dreamt of the couch. He dreamt of Richie, his foot sliding against Eddie’s chest, of Richie’s hands on him. When Eddie woke up, he cursed. 

“Fuck.”

He stripped the bed, changed his pajamas, then found himself standing in front of the washer. His mother wasn’t awake yet, but the noise of the washer could wake anyone. There was no way he’d ask her to wash his sheets for him, though. The embarrassment of not only what happened, but why and with who his mind decided to think about was almost too much for Eddie to handle. 

So he poured a little soap into the washer, then shoved his sheets inside it. His heart hammered in his chest as he started the washing machine, running back into his room. 

Sonia didn’t mention the elephant in the room despite both of them knowing why Eddie had clean sheets on his bed. Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want her to mention how he was her little baby and how she wished he’d stay her little baby forever. 

Not when Eddie was a teenage boy who had been, until very recently, steadfastly ignoring any and all thoughts about sex. He couldn’t handle it, because as many times as he’d tried to imagine girls in his daydreams, it just wouldn’t stick. And that terrified him more than greywater. 

Even though Eddie had showered the night before as soon as he got home from Richie’s, he compulsively did it again, only this time he showered to mask what he was about to do. The sound of the shower was his saving grace. He was quick, he was quiet, and he was very good at turning off the little voice in the back of his head that told him it was wrong to think about his friend, because some baser instinct didn’t care. 

In that moment, he didn’t care that he was dirty, because it felt good. 

When Eddie stepped out of the shower he shoved his emotions back where he wouldn’t think about them, shutting a door in his mind where he wasn’t like his friends. He’d rather be Eddie the hypochondriac, or the boy with the fanny pack rather than Eddie the gay kid. 

_Gay_. 

Eddie bit his lip as he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked the same as he always did, but he knew what he was, who he really was, and sometimes it was hard pretending to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t brave, he wasn’t confident, and he wasn’t straight. 

\---

Richie waited for Eddie under the street sign. Eddie felt numb, his cheeks reddening as he climbed onto the bike behind Richie, cognizant of every place they touched. Eddie felt like Richie would know that he woke up thinking about him, that he was obvious. 

Richie didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he rambled about his new Tetris high score, about how many comics he read last night, about how his dad said they could use his bike. 

“After school we should go to my place and swap bikes.” 

“Swap?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, I’m taller than you--”

“Fuck off.”

“Don’t be butt hurt because I hit puberty before you did, Eds. I know you’re jealous of this bod,” Richie joked, but Eddie only shrank in on himself a little more. “My dad’s bike is an adult bike, and since I’m taller and shit then I should ride his and you can have mine.” Eddie looked down at Richie’s well loved bike. He’d get Richie’s bike, his pride and joy, his freedom. Eddie smiled to himself. 

“Fine,” Eddie said with an exasperated sigh. “But I’m putting more air in the tires, these are almost flat.” 

“Yeah? So is your ass.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” Eddie asked, his face scrunched up. 

“It means you have a flat ass, like I said.” 

“Well yours is bony and in my face.” 

“Right where I want it to be,” Richie said, laughing. Eddie licked his lips, gritted his teeth, then punched Richie in the thigh. “Fuck you, Eds,” Richie said, stopping the bike, putting both his feet on the ground so he could turn around. “I can take you.”

“Take me where?” Eddie taunted. 

“In a fight,” Richie said. “Because you’re so tiny.” Richie placed his hand atop Eddie’s head. “Did you know that when you’re mad your pupils get bigger?” 

Eddie smacked Richie’s hand away. Richie turned back around and kept pedaling towards school. 

“Did you know that when pupils dilate outside of light change that means you’re turned on.” 

“It does not,” Eddie said, his voice coming out at a higher pitch than it normally did. “You’re making shit up.” 

“Am not,” Richie said in response. “I read it in a book.”

“What book? One of your mom’s romance novels?”

“Oh yeah, a real bodice ripper.” Eddie made a face. “But it wasn’t my mom’s, it was yours.” Eddie gagged a little bit at the thought, which made Richie laugh. 

Thankfully, the school came into view and Eddie could put a little space between him and Richie. It wasn’t even nine in the morning and he was already exhausted. Bill, Stan, and Ben were all waiting for them, giving Eddie the perfect opportunity to put a body or two between them even though what he actually wanted was to stay by Richie’s side. 

He was being pulled in too many directions, unbalanced because of his dream. 

When the first bell rang, Eddie felt relief. And yet, as Richie disappeared down the hallway, Eddie wanted to follow after him. 

By the time lunch came around Eddie’s morning was forgotten. His friends were loud, obnoxious, and always had the ability to make Eddie forget his worries for at least a little while. 

“You have not,” Stan said, rolling his eyes at Richie. “You would have told us before now if you made out with someone.” 

Eddie hadn’t been paying attention, but now he was. 

“I can keep a secret,” Richie said. “And I’ve gotten to third base, Stanley, what have you done?” Eddie watched as Richie made a lewd gesture that he’d rather not think too hard about Richie performing on someone. 

“Oh yeah? With who?” Stan asked. 

“I don’t kiss and tell, fucker,” Richie stated. 

“Because it didn’t happen.” 

“Believe what you want.”

“I will. You’re just like the rest of us, except for Bill.” Eddie glanced at Bill, who shrugged his shoulders. Eddie missed Bev, but probably not in the same way that Bill did. 

“Why are we talking about this?” Eddie asked. “Does it really matter who’s done what?” Richie’s gaze on Eddie made him look at Stan instead. “I mean, it’s just kissing.” 

“It’s not just kissing,” Richie pointed out. 

“If you don’t want to fucking say who you messed around with then why are you still talking about it?” 

“Geez, Eds, didn’t realize you were so jealous,” Richie said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Eddie pushed him, which effectively changed the subject. 

After school, Eddie found that he was unsure what to say to Richie, who was more quiet than normal on their bike ride to the Tozier’s. When they got there, Richie sighed as he got off the bike. 

“You’re acting weird.”

“What?” Eddie asked as he situated himself better on Richie’s bike, now his. Richie took a step closer to him but Eddie refused to move. Richie looked into his eyes, and Eddie swore Richie could hear his heart beating loudly in his chest. 

“Was it because we held hands?” Richie asked, and Eddie almost fell over. 

“We’ve held hands before,” Eddie said, but what he wanted to say was this: “I thought we wouldn’t acknowledge it, like how we don’t acknowledge any touches, or looks.” Richie’s eyes searched Eddie’s for a couple of seconds, lingering. Eddie broke the stare off, looking down at his feet as he gripped the handlebars of Richie’s bike. Eddie gasped when Richie reached forward, his hand cupping Eddie’s face. 

“Is this okay?” Riche asked, his thumb moving across Eddie’s chin. Eddie had two choices that he could think of. He could shove Richie back and tell him it wasn’t, which would be a lie, or he could spill his secret and tell Richie that it was more than okay. 

Eddie’s chest constricted, his knuckles white as he clenched his fists around the handle bars. He gave the barest hint of a nod, his eyes wide. He wasn’t brave, but in that moment he felt like he could be. 

The corner of Richie’s mouth twitched and Eddie wondered if this was a trick and Richie was about to laugh, to tell him it was a joke, that he would call him the terrible words that Bowers used. He desperately hoped Richie wouldn’t do that to him. 

Richie’s thumb slowly dragged across Eddie’s bottom lip and he thought he was going to crumble onto the ground. Richie leaned in closer and Eddie could feel the quick, short breaths that showed that Richie was having the same reaction that he was. 

They were going to kiss, and Eddie wanted to vomit. 

Richie licked his lips and bent down, his mouth hovering over Eddie’s. Eddie sucked in a breath, closed his eyes, and tried not to heave. 

It was the lightest of touches, barely a brush against his lips. Richie’s lips were chapped, their noses bumped together for a moment before Richie changed the angle. His hand on Eddie’s cheek tilted his head upwards as they kissed again. Eddie felt the kiss with his entire body as goosebumps covered him, a rush cascading over every limb. 

When the backdoor to the Tozier’s house opened, they jumped apart. Eddie felt light headed, his mouth hanging open as he stood there in shock. 

“Do you two want a snack?” Mrs. T asked. Richie was now two steps away from Eddie, but the ghost of his hand on Eddie’s face remained. 

“No, we were just getting dad’s bike. We’re going to the clubhouse,” Richie announced. Mrs. T didn’t look suspicious, but Eddie was scared all the same. They’d been kissing, out in the open, where anyone could see. 

“Be back before the sun sets,” Mrs. T said, giving her son a look that told Eddie that Richie was always late coming home. 

“Got it,” Richie called out, giving his mom a big smile. “Home before midnight, will do.” Richie got onto his dad’s bike, then turned to Eddie. “To the clubhouse!” Richie said in a terrible English accent as he kicked off. “We must away!” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, but followed as Richie raced down the street and towards the Barrens. 

Refusing to think too much about what just happened Eddie followed Richie, leaving their bikes at the end of the path. No one else’s bikes were there meaning they’d be alone. Eddie thought he might be sick as they climbed down into their underground bunker, Richie jumping most of the way down the ladder while Eddie took his time getting down. 

When his feet touched the floor he let out a shaky breath. He was alone, with Richie, who he’d just been kissing. Richie was already in the hammock, his legs hanging on either side of it, his hands clasped behind his head as he watched Eddie wipe his hands on his shorts, nervous. 

Eddie looked around, contemplating where to sit, but remained at the base of the ladder. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Richie said, his voice sounding loud in the quiet clubhouse. Eddie swallowed, taking a step forwards. 

“What are we doing here?” Eddie asked, afraid of the answer. He wanted to kiss Richie again, but he was terrified. Richie smirked at him, his foot swinging back and forth, making the hammock rock slightly. 

“Depends,” Richie said, tilting his head. “What do you want to do?” Eddie looked around the club house, grasping at straws. “Come here,” Richie suggested, so Eddie did. It was awkward, climbing into the hammock facing the same way as Richie. In the past they always sat opposite, but now... 

Richie put his arm around Eddie, who tucked himself in beside Richie, his arm draped across Richie’s stomach. Richie put his chin on Eddie’s head and sighed. Eddie closed his eyes, trying not to think of his legs that were on top of Richie’s, touching. He didn’t think about every single point of contact, only he couldn’t help himself. He tilted his head up to look at Richie, but Richie was ready for him. 

Their second kiss was better than the first, because Eddie knew what to expect. 

Eddie felt Richie grin against his lips as Eddie shifted in the hammock, his hands reach up and grabbing Richie’s hair as they deepened the kiss. Richie’s hand rested on Eddie’s thigh while the other was still wrapped around Eddie’s shoulder. 

He never wanted to stop. 

Richie was right, mouth germs be damned, making out was amazing. He didn’t think - his brain short circuiting as Richie’s hand on his leg moved, bringing them closer together. Eddie broke the kiss, panting as he looked into Richie’s eyes. Carefully, Eddie removed Richie’s glasses, folding them, then hooking them over the edge of the hammock, out of the way. 

“Better,” Eddie whispered against Richie’s lips before he kissed Richie. Eddie couldn’t believe they were here, that they were kissing. After pushing each other away, of avoiding themselves, the dam broke, and Eddie didn’t want to go back to hiding from not only himself, but from Richie. 

“Mmm,” Richie hummed, agreeing with him as he left a trail of kisses down Eddie’s neck. Eddie hadn’t ever thought about what it would feel like to have Richie’s mouth on him, his tongue licking. He was pretty sure if he had thought of it before now he would have been disgusted by the thought of it, but as Richie actually did it, Eddie let out a small noise of approval. 

Richie didn’t let up, and Eddie didn’t want him to. They didn’t stop for what felt like forever and no time all at once. It wasn’t until Eddie’s alarm went off that they broke apart, both of them panting. 

“Fuck,” Eddie said, out of breath. His lips felt funny, numb and heated. When he looked at Richie he realized why: Richie’s lips were red and his entire face was flushed. Eddie untangled his fingers from Richie’s hair, which stood up every which way. “Shit.” 

It dawned on Eddie that it would be difficult to hide what they’d been doing unless Richie combed his hair. Eddie pat his own, testing it, but Richie’s hands hadn’t been in his hair, they’d been on him instead. 

“Uh oh,” Richie said, his eyes wide as he looked at Eddie. 

“What?” Eddie asked, panicking that Richie regretted kissing him. 

Richie reached out, his finger pressing against Eddie’s neck. Then it dawned on Eddie: Richie’s mouth had been on his neck, but surely it hadn’t been for that long. He had no idea, no clue about how long it took for his blood to rush to the surface of his skin but by the look on Richie’s face, it didn’t take long. 

“Is it bad?” Eddie asked, his voice rising. 

“Uh,” Richie said, though he nodded slightly. 

“Fuck,” Eddie swore. “Fuck, I’m so screwed.” Richie opened his mouth to make a joke but Eddie pointed at him as he climbed off the hammock, almost tripping as he did so. “Do not say anything about screwing.”

Richie put his glasses on, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Fine,” Richie said, looking at Eddie out of the corner of his eye as he got out of the hammock. “But I’m thinking it.” Eddie closed his eyes, trying to remember to breathe as they set to right themselves as best they could before climbing out of the clubhouse.

His second alarm began to go off as they got to their bikes. 

Before Eddie took off on his bike, Richie stopped him, holding his shirt sleeve.

“Can I come over tonight?” Richie asked. 

“You know you can’t,” Eddie said, even though he wanted him to more than anything. In the sunshine, Richie’s lips were bruised, his pupils blown. “Do you want to chance it?” 

“Yes,” Richie said, looking at Eddie’s lips before meeting his eyes. “Keep your window unlocked.” 

“Come by after ten,” Eddie said, feeling brave. Richie grinned at him, kissing him on the lips one more time. Eddie smiled when Richie pulled away, not believing this was real. As they rode back towards town, it dawned on Eddie that it was very, very real, and they couldn’t go back to pretending they weren’t into each other. 

They’d have to sneak around, but it would be okay. It would be okay because Richie was there beside him, and Richie would make sure that everything was alright. He always had, and he always would. For now, everything was perfect.


End file.
